Changing Your Thinking!

1

Define success for yourself. Being determined doesn't just happen out of nowhere. It comes from a strength of character that you build to succeed in the manner that you want to do succeed. Remember that one person's idea of success is going to be incredibly different than another person's.

• Start with your fundamentals. Decide what exactly it means to succeed. Is success about getting a psychology degree and becoming a child psychologist? Is success about getting married and having ten children?
• Ask yourself questions like: what do you daydream about? how do you want people to see you? how would you like to make an impact in the world? what would you want to leave behind (troubles, attributes, people, etc.)? Questions like these will help you figure out more clearly what success means to you and what determination will help you gain.
• Consider what would make you happy rather than what would make your parents happy, or your friends happy, or society happy. If happiness for you is having a llama farm out in the middle of nowhere, then start considering how to make that a reality.

2

Figure out your type of determination. There are different kinds of determination, which people use at different times. Some of them are more useful than others, and some of them can be combined with others.

• Up hill determination is when you work to achieve a difficult task despite many or large obstacles in an effort to achieve your goals. An example of this might be a college student taking on more classes than the other students in an effort to graduate early, while simultaneously holding down a job. This type of determination trudges on through obstacles, but it can be incredibly draining and isn't something that can be sustained over long periods of time.
• Coasting determination is when you're delaying short-term gratification for the success of long-term goals. This type of determination acts rather than reacts, so that you are making things happen through self-discipline and an understanding of what it is you want. And example of this type of determination in action would be someone who is saving money for a big trip. Instead of going out to dinner (short-term gratification) they save the money for the big trip (success of long-term goals).
• Both of these types of determination are good in their own ways, and they should be used in conjunction with one another. There are times when you will need to employ the uphill determination rather than the coasting determination, because there is an immediate obstacle that you need to work through.

3

Set personal goals. Once you know what success means to you, you will need to come up with goals that will help you achieve that success. It's best to have a combination of big goals and small goals so that you are constantly accomplishing things, which will bolster your determination to keep going.

• This will also help you take your goals step by step. If you focus too much on the overall picture (the big goal, or the achieving success) you'll probably start to feel overwhelmed which will make your determination harder to maintain.
• For example: If you define success as publishing a novel, your goals will include writing the book itself, editing it, learning about the publishing industry, figuring out which literary agents to send it to, writing a synopsis and cover letter, and sending it off to the different agents and publishers.

4

Develop specific strategies. Once you have the goals that you want to achieve, then it's time to develop the specific ways you're going to achieve those goals. The more specific your plans and strategies, the easier it will be to be determined when you have actionable steps to keep you motivated.

• Create a timeline for your goals. Mark them down on your calendar to keep you on track. Make a list of the long-term "big" goals and the shorter-term smaller goals that will help you achieve the bigger ones.
• Remain flexible with your goals and your timeline. Don't beat yourself up if you end up needing more time to complete something, or if you decide that a goal you had is actually not that important to you.
• Make a plan to deal with temptations. Things will happen that will make it so you'll want to give up, or you'll want to give yourself a break. Have a plan to deal with the temptations so you don't end up giving in to immediate gratification. For example: for the person who is planning the big trip, they might keep a reminder of the trip with them so that when they are tempted by eating out, they remember what they're saving for. Also, they could make meal plans so that they don't end up on a situation where it's simply easier to eat out.

5

Set clear boundaries. It's hard to accomplishing things, even when you're determined, if you don't have a clear idea of what you're accomplishing and what is outside of that limit. This doesn't mean that you restrict yourself, because you don't want to limit yourself too much, but being clear about your boundaries will make accomplishing things much easier.

• For example: instead of saying I'm going to work on my novel every day, set aside a specific time. Say, "I'm going to write from 6:00 am to 8:00 am every morning." There are no vague boundaries with this, you have set very specific parameters, which makes it easier to follow.

6

Play to your strengths. Often, when you get feedback or work on improving yourself, you focus on the things that need to be improved. Don't ignore those things, but figure out your strengths and use those to help you succeed and use your determination to achieve your goals.

• Have friends/coworkers/family/teachers give you examples of times when you excelled (when you used your strengths). Locate common themes throughout the examples and create a picture of your strong suits.
• For example: if people choose examples of times when you were incredibly honest, or worked really hard, or came up with creative solutions to problems, then use those to craft the image of yourself based on those strengths.